So I had a MASSIVE moment of self awareness this weekend.
1. Not all ideas are good ideas (thought I knew this one but, I now know it harder.)
2. Given creative constraints I will self implode and leave fake snow and denial in my wake.
You know how there are those people that you can give a small number of random things to, and they come up with something AMAZING?
Well that is not me.
Give me free reign of all of the things and I can come up with something that seems MacGyver style creative. In all reality? Its usually born out of not knowing where I put the supplies that I already bought. There is a big difference folks.
In case you missed last week’s post, I have teamed up with a few really talented bloggers to have a Chopped style ornament-off.
In true Chopped fashion, we all had to use the same ingredients (clear round balls, fake snow, sharpie paint pens, and ribbon) to create an ornament.
“How hard could it be?” she said. “Blogger interactions are good for you!” she said.
Let me tell you about these Chopped Ornaments (more like Chop Your Own D*mn Head Off Ornaments of Actual Pain and Fury.)
This year for Christmas, we are memory building. Which means that a tree that’s on trend is out, and homemade ornaments by the Gubler girls are in. But I thought that a few blog worthy ornaments on the little tinsel tree would hurt no one. Do you know what memories were made? Memories of Mom yelling “That’s it! Christmas is CANCELLED!!” when I walked in to see Dylan singing “Let It Go” and throwing fake snow into the air in my living room.
But back to the task at hand. Lets take a step inside my brain and I’ll show you the thought train.
(Swirly clouds and harp music)
Simple.
Cactus inside a globe inside a himmeli shape (its like an ornament turduckin of 2014 trends) BAM!
This thing is going to be cute and easy.What about the ribbon, sharpie and fake snow that you’re required to use?
Crap.
Um…does leather count as ribbon?
I can draw something on the front of the ornament.…The fake snow is going to be a problem.
Yes it is.
I mean there is a lot of fake snows in the world, it doesn’t have to be this giant
plastic crappy kind. It could be something pretty like — salt?Leather, cactus, fake snow/salt, himmeli, and drawings?
That’s a lot of crap to put on an ornament.Ok. New idea.
What if we have a little silhouette scene with a black paint pen on the front of the ornament and fill it with fake snow?
Way to be an over-achiever. Filling it with snow and drawing on the front?
Pretty sure that Martha perfect that concept in utero.
It needs to be BETTER! BIGGER! and NEVER BEEN DONE!!I hate you.
Ok. New idea.
WHAT IF I make a cool geometric shape out of velum and draw on the edges with a sharpie paint pen THEN put a glowing balloon light and fake snow inside the velum shape to disperse the light all while being suspended by a ribbon inside the ornament?!?!?!?!?!?!?
(Heavy breathing, also crazy eyes.)….This is not going to end well.
(Cue swirly clouds and harp music)
So here are all of the project attempts. Try to contain your judgments.
The cactus idea actually turned out really cute if you don’t count the microscopic cactus needles in Jamie’s fingers (because she thinks that she is invincible and can manhandle a cactus with her bare hands?) and the one that I have stuck in my chin (like I am ever going to find that with the chin hair.) Also the hot glue gun burns.
I glued the teensiest cactus that you have ever seen to a water bottle cap and then glued it to one side of the ornament half. Then I add salt and x’s with the paint pen.
I have a feeling that the cactus might not do so hot sitting in a 1/4 cup of Kosher Salt, but you know, I already killed it with the hot glue gun so NBD. I also made one with an air plant. Again, it looks cute but that amount of salt has got to be a death sentence. I bet that white sand, or small plastic beads would work if you wanted to recreate it.
The little silhouette guy turned out pretty cute too, and was definitely the easiest to make. And in case you were wondering, in Vintage Revivals land, leather does count as ribbon.
The lighted geometric sphere on the other hand is literally the worst thing that I have ever made. Jamie picked it up and said “Awwwww, it looks like a little Christmas wish.” which made me silent laugh and cry for 7 solid minutes
That is when I decided that a dead cactus, or a simple doodle is significantly better than something that looks like it came from an novice sorcerer from the lower left realm. (It looks WAY worse IRL than it does in this picture. Trust.)
So. the moral of the story is. Never buy fake snow. Wear gloves while manhandling cacti. And Christmas wishes are wonderful, unless they are a Vintage Revivals Christmas wish, then you should run far and fast, because who knows what curses might lurk inside.
Check out the other girls projects!!
BrittanyMakes
Burlap and Lace
Desert Domicile
DIY Playbook
Dream Green DIY
Fabric Paper Glue
Homey Oh My
Makely Home
Sarah Hearts
I am reading this at work (while I should be working and looking over my shoulder for my boss), I get to the part about Dylan and bust out laughing so hard that my co-workers know I am avoiding my job and wasting valuable company time. That is going to make me smile all day long. I now feel better about my attempt at remaking all of my ornaments and my daughters antics while I burn off what is remaining of my finger prints.
I love this! I would never have thought fake snow would be such a funny story! I’m glad thisng eventually worked out for you, the ornaments are so very cute!
I think we’ve all be there! 🙂 And, links to the other participants’ projects would be cool. Please and thank you.
This may be my favorite post ever. This describes perfectly all of my efforts to decorate. Also, I’m pretty sure ANY fake snow at my house would result in my kids throwing it in the air while singing “Let it go”–at which point I would probably really let it go. And by letting it go, I mean letting all sorts of expletives go flying out of my mouth.
the fake snow was definitely difficult to incorporate. I love the baby cacti though! way too cute!
And THIS, sweet lady, is why your readers LOVE YOU
Thanks for keeping it real – this is the funniest Christmas post EVAH!!!!
Pretty much the perfect narrative to accompany this; although, I thought mine was going well until I saw the photos and pretty much thought…well, shit. It wouldn’t be challenge if it wasn’t hard, right?! Having said that, yours turned out lovely!
And THAT is how Christmas is done. wahoo!
I LOVE this! Thank you so much, that thought process is sooo familiar… You’re creativity never fails to astound so it’s so welcoming to hear other’s creative, sometimes bumpy, paths. And your ornaments really are beautiful, full of growth and memories!
Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
You never fail to make me smile as you wow my with your creativity.
I busted a gut reading this today. If your day job (DIY) fails (doubtful!), you could easily transition to a comedy writer! NO KIDDING!!!
Salt is a major improvement on that crappy plastic snow! Looks perfect with that adorable cactus. I have to say though that the silhouette ornament is my favorite. I would say that the geometric sphere is, but I’m supposed to trust you that it’s not that great, in which case you are a master at photographing not so great things and making them look excellent.
Hi! I wanted to let you know I nominated you for the “One Lovely Blogger Award” 🙂
Please don’t feel under any pressured to accept the award, it is simply a way for us to share great blogs with others.
Here’s the link to the post: https://passionforinteriordesign.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/one-lovely-blog-award/
You have super beautiful and inspiring blog, thank you!
This post is hilarious!!! But the little cactus and air plant ornaments are to die for! So pretty!
This post is hysterical. Thanks for being honest. I totally relate to the “I knew that already, but now I knew it harder.” So true. I wonder what the glowing ball looked like in real life.
You are too hard on yourself. These are completely the cutest ornaments and who cares if maybe large doses of salt are going to mini mass murder a few small plants. They’re so mandi-fanshioned, and they rock.
You’re awesome! Loved your post!
Your ornaments turned out awesome! Swapping salt for faux snow is genius!
hilarious read, thank you!
love your blog and post!
https://selfistickz.com/collections/all
I laughed, I coughed, I cried, and laughed some more. You’re so flippin hilarious.
Ummm, don’t understand the self-doubt, the cactus one is AMAZING.
Loving the cactus one! So creative and unique. Thanks for sharing
http://www.endlesshouseaffair.com
Such a neat idea! This post is hilarious! Please check out my website!
Haha, I love your thought process and that you shared it on your blog, keeping it real! Love the catus and the air plant and the leather ribbon. The Christmas wish actually looks pretty cool!
Mandi… I love you. That is all. Merry Christmas, my friend! 🙂
These are adorable! But instead of salt I’d use white craft sand (mainly because I love that stuff and have like 10lbs of it sitting in my closet!)
LifeAnnStyle
The cacti are a w e s o m e.
Also, the rest is not as bad as I expected from reading the intro. Actually they’re pretty good. Let’s be honest, they’re very good.
Btw the cacti are a w e s o m e.