So I had a MASSIVE moment of self awareness this weekend.
1. Not all ideas are good ideas (thought I knew this one but, I now know it harder.)
2. Given creative constraints I will self implode and leave fake snow and denial in my wake.
You know how there are those people that you can give a small number of random things to, and they come up with something AMAZING?
Well that is not me.
Give me free reign of all of the things and I can come up with something that seems MacGyver style creative. In all reality? Its usually born out of not knowing where I put the supplies that I already bought. There is a big difference folks.
In case you missed last week’s post, I have teamed up with a few really talented bloggers to have a Chopped style ornament-off.
In true Chopped fashion, we all had to use the same ingredients (clear round balls, fake snow, sharpie paint pens, and ribbon) to create an ornament.
“How hard could it be?” she said. “Blogger interactions are good for you!” she said.
Let me tell you about these Chopped Ornaments (more like Chop Your Own D*mn Head Off Ornaments of Actual Pain and Fury.)
This year for Christmas, we are memory building. Which means that a tree that’s on trend is out, and homemade ornaments by the Gubler girls are in. But I thought that a few blog worthy ornaments on the little tinsel tree would hurt no one. Do you know what memories were made? Memories of Mom yelling “That’s it! Christmas is CANCELLED!!” when I walked in to see Dylan singing “Let It Go” and throwing fake snow into the air in my living room.
But back to the task at hand. Lets take a step inside my brain and I’ll show you the thought train.
(Swirly clouds and harp music)
Simple.
Cactus inside a globe inside a himmeli shape (its like an ornament turduckin of 2014 trends) BAM!
This thing is going to be cute and easy.
What about the ribbon, sharpie and fake snow that you’re required to use?
Crap.
Um…does leather count as ribbon?
I can draw something on the front of the ornament.
…The fake snow is going to be a problem.
Yes it is.
I mean there is a lot of fake snows in the world, it doesn’t have to be this giant
plastic crappy kind. It could be something pretty like — salt?
Leather, cactus, fake snow/salt, himmeli, and drawings?
That’s a lot of crap to put on an ornament.
Ok. New idea.
What if we have a little silhouette scene with a black paint pen on the front of the ornament and fill it with fake snow?
Way to be an over-achiever. Filling it with snow and drawing on the front?
Pretty sure that Martha perfect that concept in utero.
It needs to be BETTER! BIGGER! and NEVER BEEN DONE!!
I hate you.
Ok. New idea.
WHAT IF I make a cool geometric shape out of velum and draw on the edges with a sharpie paint pen THEN put a glowing balloon light and fake snow inside the velum shape to disperse the light all while being suspended by a ribbon inside the ornament?!?!?!?!?!?!?
(Heavy breathing, also crazy eyes.)
….This is not going to end well.
(Cue swirly clouds and harp music)
So here are all of the project attempts. Try to contain your judgments.
The cactus idea actually turned out really cute if you don’t count the microscopic cactus needles in Jamie’s fingers (because she thinks that she is invincible and can manhandle a cactus with her bare hands?) and the one that I have stuck in my chin (like I am ever going to find that with the chin hair.) Also the hot glue gun burns.
I glued the teensiest cactus that you have ever seen to a water bottle cap and then glued it to one side of the ornament half. Then I add salt and x’s with the paint pen.
I have a feeling that the cactus might not do so hot sitting in a 1/4 cup of Kosher Salt, but you know, I already killed it with the hot glue gun so NBD. I also made one with an air plant. Again, it looks cute but that amount of salt has got to be a death sentence. I bet that white sand, or small plastic beads would work if you wanted to recreate it.
The little silhouette guy turned out pretty cute too, and was definitely the easiest to make. And in case you were wondering, in Vintage Revivals land, leather does count as ribbon.
The lighted geometric sphere on the other hand is literally the worst thing that I have ever made. Jamie picked it up and said “Awwwww, it looks like a little Christmas wish.” which made me silent laugh and cry for 7 solid minutes
That is when I decided that a dead cactus, or a simple doodle is significantly better than something that looks like it came from an novice sorcerer from the lower left realm. (It looks WAY worse IRL than it does in this picture. Trust.)
So. the moral of the story is. Never buy fake snow. Wear gloves while manhandling cacti. And Christmas wishes are wonderful, unless they are a Vintage Revivals Christmas wish, then you should run far and fast, because who knows what curses might lurk inside.
Check out the other girls projects!!
BrittanyMakes
Burlap and Lace
Desert Domicile
DIY Playbook
Dream Green DIY
Fabric Paper Glue
Homey Oh My
Makely Home
Sarah Hearts