My Deepest Darkest Secret.

Thanks to everyone who played along with “Guess The Truth” yesterday. Unfortunatly none of you know me that well.

So here are the answers.

1. When I was young I was a huge tomboy. The neighbor kid and I found a cat in his window sill and peed on it. The next morning we went out to see it and because it was wet and the temp had dropped overnight it froze to death.

2. When I was at my cousins wedding I bent over to pick up my offspring and my “chicken cutlet breast enhancement device” fell out of my shirt. Wait, it gets better. It landed on the foot of her new father in law who already thinks our family has issues.

I will fess up to owning a pair of “Chicken Cutlet Breast Enhancement Devices” but this actually happened to my Mother-in-Law at MY wedding,  it landed on my Dad’s foot.

3. My love for spray paint began at the ripe old age of 4. I wanted a new blue bike like the one the boy down the street had just received for his birthday. My mom and dad told me NO! So I hauled my bike into the garage and proceeded to spray paint it blue. I then decided that I needed an accessory to match and painted myself blue.

This one belongs to the husband of the year…MINE. This one of the many activities that he engaged in as a child that makes me fearful to have a boy.

4. When I was 13 I got sent home from youth conference (an LDS activity for youth ages 12-17) for being out late….at night….with boys.

So as Bonnie pointed out you do have to be 14 to go to Youth Conference. This did in fact happen to me. But I was much more mature at the ripe old age of 15. Nice right?

5. When Ivie was 3 I took her to one of Macho’s ball games. She was wearing a cute new summer dress….and no underwear.

This is totally something that I would do but luckily it happened to one of the other mothers…..

6. Once upon a time while I was at college. I got pulled over and didn’t have my insurance card so I was issued a ticket. I thought “Duh,  I HAVE insurance, this is a load of hooey.” and didn’t think about it again. Fast forward 6 months. I got pulled over again going to pick Macho up from work,  the cop said nothing about the previous ticket and let me go, so I just thought that it went away. Mr. Macho warned me that the Copper was going to come back and get me, and that’s exactly what happened. Lights flashing, handcuffs, crying, neighbors coming outside, the works. While I was in the slammer for 2 hours a girl said to me “So what are you in for?” WHAT THE FRENCH?? Do people really say that?!?!?! I can attest that they do in fact say that.

This is a true story and my DEEPEST DARKEST SECRET. My mom doesnt even know about it.